HOMEWORK HELP............?

It's a good sentence, but if it's for homework, you're probably better not saying "figures" try something a bit more formal. You need a wee bit more punctuation after the semicolon eg "when she does, instead of yelling, he encourages her." that way it doesn't sound so much like a spiel, it breaks it up a bit and it doesn't then sound like she's the one doing the shouting at first. Hope that helps :)