Anyone ever feel this way?

what do you do if u feel tainted by life? like ive seen or experienced to much. nothing can ever be pure in my eyes or thoughts again. even as i write this i here the answers in your head forming...."pray" .."faith".."meds". what if none of that works for you. i live my life because its habbit...i have no goals other than to just breath. life for me has been an unravelled lie. like when u find out there is no santa...i believed in everything told to me about life, work, love, family and friends but discover one by one they....well anyway ...i believe in god ...i dont believe in people anymore.i think there is still a basic good in people but i think people act in ther own best interests. i think we took a different road than god laid in front of us. i dont no maybe i just needed to say all this. is there anyone that feels the same way as i do? or am i just goin nutz?starving children out there and i bought a truck with leather seats....wtf is wrong w us?